Kitty Cat Permanent Stylez
by sharkinterviewee
Summary: Jake adopts a cat and asks Amy to move in with him in one smooth move. Total fluff one shot.


"What is it?" Amy asked for the hundredth time, voice edging closer and closer to hysteria. It wasn't even a fifteen minute car ride back to his place, but when he started bragging about the 'amazing' surprise he had waiting for her as soon as they got in the car she had been asking nonstop, and even after the hundredth time he still refused to give her anything to go on. The secrecy paired with his overwhelming excitement only made her worry more.

"It's a surprise!"

"Jake, you have a horrible definition of what makes a good surprise. Please just tell me what it is. You're scaring me. I've had nightmares about this before. I can't even imagine what would make you so excited, but I know it has to be bad."

"C'mon, Amy. We're almost there. Just wait. You're gonna love it. At least, I'm pretty sure you're gonna love it. I love it," he said the last part more to himself than to her. He knew she _hated_ surprises from anyone. Surprises from Jake Peralta were on a whole different level. Even if he went into it with the best of intentions they always ended up backfiring, or they'd be some crazy thing that he thought was awesome and assumed the recipient would like it just as much when no sane person would enjoy the surprises he went with most of the time.

"Is it bigger than a breadbox?" She asked, hoping he would at least give her something for playing 20 questions.

"How big is a breadbox usually? Why does everyone go with that when no one's seen a breadbox?" Jake asked, and she actually didn't have an answer for him. Even though her boyfriend's surprises were almost always horrible, she did have to give him points for creativity. He made her wonder about things that she never would have questioned on her own. Like why the breadbox question is a staple of 20 questions that even she uses, even though she had never seen one in her life. He made her think about weird things, and she liked that about him. "What does a breadbox even look like?" he continued his train of thought. "Does a breadbox look like a pirate's chest? Does a breadbox only hold one slice of bread? You're surprise is definitely bigger than a slice of bread."

* * *

When he opened his door Amy flinched and waited for something to pop out, but nothing did. She warily entered walking behind him using him as a human shield since he knew where the trap he set for her was, so Jake would be the one hit in the face or something. But nothing popped out, and when Amy looked around his place looked just the same as usual, nothing new, no surprise. Jake peered around too like he was looking for something, and Amy realized that he must have lost the gift he got for her.

"Whoops, I thought I left it right here," he explained as he ducked under his kitchen table and then opened his cabinets when the mystery was still nowhere to be found. "You stay here. It's a surprise. Don't move. Stay right here. Don't move an inch," he ordered before running about randomly searching for places he could have set it down without realizing and forgotten all about it. And even seeing him run back and forth searching closets and cabinets and down the hall, Amy was frozen to the spot by his door completely petrified about his surprise.

"Jake, you're scaring me!"

"Found it!" He yelled back sounding like he was in his bedroom. "It was on your pillow!"

"Why in the world did you leave my surprise on my pillow?"

"I didn't _leave_ it on your pillow," he protested the accusation in his best imitation of a whiny 5 year old. "It moved! And you can't really blame it since your pillow is the most comfortable thing in here!" He shouted back.

"It, Jake?! You got me an it?! What is it? What type of it is it? Is it alive? Jake, did you get me something living? It?!"

She probably should have stomped towards his voice, but she was still frozen because it had to be awful. God, he got her something living. It had to be, right? It moved to her pillow on purpose. It had to be alive. He got her a sentient creature, and he still hadn't walked out of his room yet so she didn't know what it even was. Was it too big for him to carry out? It obviously couldn't be a dog because she could still breathe fine, and she was going to murder him so much if it was any sort of bug. He seemed genuinely excited about it on the way over, and like he earnestly thought she would like it and he wasn't playing a prank on her or anything, but this was Jake. She just prayed it wasn't a snake. Oh god, what if he let a snake sleep on her pillow? And slither around everywhere? She was going to kill him. Maybe the python would squeeze him to death first. Then her hands would be clean. He knew she hated snakes. If it was a snake she was walking right out and never stepping foot in his apartment ever again. If she could move, which she couldn't yet, even though she knew he was probably going to bring out a snake any second and she should start running so her idiot of a boyfriend wouldn't wave a snake in her face, she still couldn't move at all.

"Well, no, it's not an it. It's a she," he said as he walked out of his room cradling a kitten that was still blinking out of a sleepy stupor that it was apparently taking on Amy's pillow. Pardon, that _she_ was taking on Amy's pillow.

And, okay, it was maybe the cutest thing she had ever seen. Like a squeal level of cute kitten. And looking at how cute it was Amy didn't even care that there was undoubtedly cat fur all over her pillow case. It was all soft and furry and teacup sized and the most adorable thing on earth since earth was even a thing. She knew that Jake was helping Terry with a cat-involved case and he showed her the multitude of pictures he took of them while she was off being competitive about the bomb defusing class (she researched the hell out of disarming bombs the day before the class was given so she would be prepared) and even though there were cute kittens around she was not distracted by people cooing over them in the bullpen because she planned on winning that bomb defusing class.

Which she ended up losing. And she never did end up getting to play with any of the kittens, though she wanted to. Of course Amy's family never had a pet dog cause it would have been a death sentence for her, but they never had a cat either. A pet that roamed around would have been too much to add on top of eight kids (at least that was the excuse her parents always gave when she or her brothers begged to get a furry friend). Her family was a goldfish family.

So she had never had a pet that was a mammal. The only time she ever was around a cat was when she'd go over to a friend's house as a kid and spend a good half hour just petting it because it was a novelty and she always wanted one of her own when she was younger.

And now Jake was holding a kitten in his arms that was mewling and her heart was melting.

But still, a cat? A cat? Living creatures were on the list of things to never give as surprises.

"You got me a cat?" She asked, still not quite believing the cuteness right in front of her.

"No, I got _us_ a cat," he grinned and looked so happy and excited that it honestly wasn't fair for him to look so adorable while he was holding a freakin' kitten cause it was adorable overload.

"Is it gonna be our cat at your apartment, or our cat at my apartment? Are you just planning on leaving this thing with me?"

"You sound just like Terry!" Jake cuddled the kitten closer to his chest, completely aghast like she had just ordered him to throw it out on the street. He actually tried to cover its cute little adorable ears even though it obviously couldn't understand English and she was pretty sure it already fell back asleep in his hands. "This cute little kitty cat was the only one left after Terry put up all the ads and it was either come home with us or she was going to the pound! You look at this furry little angel face and tell it you want it to be homeless!" He ordered and held the kitten up to her face so it was only two inches away and there was a squeal building up in her throat that she had to fight to hold back, because no matter how adorable it was, she needed to be the responsible one in their relationship because Jake sure as hell wasn't up for the job. He couldn't just pick up animals willy nilly without even consulting her first, because if she even let him start his place would be overrun with all the strays he could find because he was just like a kid in every way. So she had to be the adult and resist the overwhelming urge to take it from him from and coo at it and give it little belly scratches, and- no. None of that. Responsible, Amy, _responsible._ Stay strong.

"You didn't answer my question. What's its living situation? _Our_ cat? Or _my_ surprise? Are you planning on taking it in a cat carrier back and forth like weekend custody? Cats don't like car rides, Jake. Where is _our_ cat going to be staying?"

"Well, the kitty cat is more of a segue. Like a pre-housewarming gift," he informed her looking down at the kitten instead of Amy as he shifted on the balls of his feet. She waited patiently for him to get further into the matter that he needed a segue to get into in the first place. He usually got fidgety when he was entering nervous talking areas for him about serious stuff, so she realized that he undoubtedly had something he wanted to say even with the prolonged silence he refused, or couldn't, fill. "She's a pre-house warming gift. If you'd wanna get into a housewarming situation sometime soon. Situation like that. With me. Me and the kitty cat. And you. Like my apartment is definitely too small for me and you, but it's the right size for me and a little kitty cat, but if you wanted we could start looking into places that are Jake and Amy and kitty cat size, that would be cool with me. I'd like that. Home style. Kitty cat style. Us style. Housewarming gift."

Even though he was more of directing his relationship next step words at the kitten he was staring at while scratching under its chin, she recognized it as really a way of averting his gaze while he shifted back and forth again awaiting her response.

"So rescuing a cat is your segue to asking me to move in with you? Or asking to move into a new place together? Like ditching the current apartments we have and just getting a new one? You want that? You're ready for that? Moving in together is a pretty big relationship commitment. Very mature. You sure you're ready for that?"

"Yup. Kitty cat permanent stylez," he said and dragged the kitten's paw up in the air to wave at her, and the movement didn't even wake it from its cat nap that was more like a deep slumber. "So what do you say? Move in with me? Me and the kitten?" He asked on a light note with a small and hopeful smile. "Like if you really, really hate cats I'm sure I can find her another home in the next few weeks cause this little lady is too pretty for prison, so I can find her another home if you wanna do a move in thing with me without a kitten to contend with, but she's so cute and cuddly if that helps make your decision any easier."

"I would kiss you right now, but I really want to hold the kitten so I'll kiss you later," she said eagerly reaching for it and snatching it from his arms to cradle in her own, even though that did wake it up and it was mewling so pitifully and she just wanted to hug it so hard and squish it, but she made sure she was hugging it very softly. "I'm saying yes, by the way. Yes to moving in together and yes to keeping her. I accept your housewarming gift, though she's gonna be staying here until we actually find a place cause my building doesn't allow pets, even ones as cute as this one," Amy nuzzled the kitten's nose with her own and scritched its little belly that was the softest thing she had ever felt.

"What's her name?" She just hoped that Jake didn't choose something from Die Hard, knowing that was almost definitely what he did.

"She's your housewarming gift. I thought I'd let you name her. Except snowball. That is the one name that's crossed off the list, because it has to be more original than that. Anything but snowball."

* * *

"How about Jaws?" She asked after an hour of just playing with the kitten and all the feathered cat toys that Jake bought that the kitten was flipping out over as she trounced it around on the floor.

He was surprisingly prepared, which she hadn't expected. After finding out that her surprise was a kitten and getting through that conversation she expected they'd have to go to the store to get cat food, litter, a litter box, and all that other stuff. Cause Jake rarely planned in advance and was almost never responsible, so when he brought home a cat she assumed all he would have brought was the cat spur of the moment and brought it home to go shopping after Amy would drag him to the store to pick out pet supplies. But he already did that all by himself. All the supplies needed. Pretty responsible, and very mature. And she thought that asking to move in together was a huge thing for him.

"Jaws? Isn't that what everyone names their goldfish to be ironic?"

"Yeah. But I don't come from a cat family _or_ a dog family. I come from a goldfish family. But people name their goldfishes Jaws, they don't name their cats Jaws. And naming a cat one of the statistically most common goldfish names just adds on another level of irony, doesn't it? Like inception of pet names. C'mon, she would make a cute Jaws, wouldn't she?" She held up little TBD who was nibbling on her fingers and squirming to chase the feather, and with her sharp kitten teeth Jaws was pretty accurate.

"You are such a nerd for knowing that off the top of your head, Ames," he said and bounced a string up and down and the kitten tried to swat at it as best as it could before wiggling out of Amy's grip and just attacking the string with its little kitty teeth and crazy claws. Jake was just as hyper as the furball and grinning like an idiot (to be fair, she was grinning like an idiot too). Their level of excitement was not befitting the adults that they technically were, because they were just giddy to the points of absolute fools and fighting over the kitten's attention and trying to out fun each other to the cat's play style. Plus lots of kissing. Kissing each other, kissing the cat, just lots of kissing all around.

When TBD decided to investigate the rest of Jake's place, they both of course followed her around and watched her sniff anything she could get her face next to and she took all the nooks and crannies as a personal challenge to explore. She particularly enjoyed burrowing in Jake's dirty clothes pile and Amy ran to rescue her after the pile stopped moving and she was worried the smell was too overwhelming for its cute little newborn nose.

"You would not believe how many trivia contests I have won from just that goldfish fact. I swear it's in almost every trivia book I've ever read, that goldfish jaws fact. You'd think with all the trivia books published each year they'd stop recycling random facts with each and every new release. I don't know how all the regulars at trivia night at the bar don't have that fact memorized by now cause it's always brought up. So Jaws always comes through for me. You couldn't even guess how many times that fact has won me a game," she bragged.

"I'll take a guess: too many. You have won too many trivia contests period."

She stuck her tongue out at him for that comment, but she was back to smiling not even two seconds later.

"But yeah, Jaws is a pretty killer name, Ames. No changing it. Her name is officially Jaws. We should get her a little personalized tag. And maybe we can put the theme song on the back with just a lot of duh duhs under our address," he suggested before humming the Jaws theme with his hand on his head to mimic a shark fin.

They had talked more in depth about new living situations in between kitten playtime. It made her incredibly happy that he wasn't nervous or worried about moving in together at all. He was nervous about suggesting the idea, but he wasn't nervous or worried about the big commitment of moving into an apartment together once she accepted. He was just happy about it. And kissy about it.

He also admitted that he didn't have a clue where to start the apartment searching process since he found his current one courtesy of Gina, and his last one courtesy of his nana, so he didn't know what to do without anyone's courtesy and former knowledge of specific open apartments. Amy told him they could start digging more into it on the weekend, and for now he should just enjoy their new cat.

But it hadn't even been more than a few hours since he first asked her to move in together, and he was already saying _our_ address.

So yeah, she kinda had the cutest boyfriend on earth. She also had the cutest kitten on earth now too.

* * *

 **AN: Thank you for patience regarding basically all of my multichapter fics lately. I actually moved out this month (finding an apartment, the 5/6 hour drive from my parents place to my new place, getting the rental truck and all that shnazz has kept me pretty busy). Also starting college next week, so I'll probably need some more patience. Thank you so much for follows, favorites, and reviews. I absolutely love the feedback.**


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